Namaste 🙏

Deconstructing and disentangling from an ultra conservative, far right, fundamentalist, christian upbringing, indoctrination, and brainwashing can be a very intimidating process. I have been chronicling that journey through writing and social media, which to be honest has been an EXHAUSTING process. Discovering that everything my faith had taught was 100% truth an undeniable fact was actually just conjecture, bad theology based on shitty translations, ideas, and fairy tales is a hard pill to swallow. Freeing myself from thirty plus years immersed in a cess pool of fear, self-loathing, anger, resentment, patriarchy, and control has been a hard difficult process but one that I would do again without a seconds hesitation.

So, that is what 2023 looked like for me. All of my available energy was absorbed by undergoing this metamorphosis. Now if I had to pick a strain of doctrine for myself it would be Buddhism. I tried on atheism for a few months but it just did not fit. Perhaps I still have some fear to sort through instilled in me from the decades of phobia indoctrination. What I do know though is that if there is a G-d and universalism is not real then I want nothing to do with that G-d. The injustice, insanity, sadness, horror, and down right vileness of anything less is just too much to believe in.

Hiking with my son in the wildlife sanctuary that abuts our property in SE Connecticut

Besides fishing I kicked my trail projects into overdrive resurrecting an old trail behind our home and creating a network of trails on my small property to include some fun mountain bike terrain features. I have also written 20,000+ words for book two of my recently self published novel. We had a great summer filled with adventure and the fall was no less magical with a family RV trip to southern Vermont and visiting family for Halloween (can I just say Halloween is so much more fun when you are not a fundamentalist).

A lovely shot of my home on a sunset stroll

I celebrated my 40th birthday this past summer with friends and family in California. It was a short trip but I did manage to squeeze in a climb to the summit of San Jacinto via the aerial tram that I have wanted to do for a LONG time.

First ski tour of the season - Great Glen Trails in Gorham, NH

This season I kicked off a foray into a new hobby - telemark skiing. I got a pair of XCD skis for the holidays - Fischer Traverse 78s with Rottefella xPlore bindings and Alfa Free ski boots. My technique is still pretty rough but I have executed several successful telemark turns - the most recent was earlier this week when I went for a tour of Winding Trails in Farmington CT. So, yea 2023 was a tough year but it has also been one of growth, learning, exploring, adventure, and wonder. Stay safe out there and... Namaste 🙏